1.6.2005

my views on my life...

1. i just got to work :) the guys had to come fix my heater today so i got to sleep in and i just feel well rested and ready for the 1.5 days of work left that i have :)

2. dev.
i dont want to go into too much detail cause there is just too much to write about, but ive done a lot of thinking over the past 3 weeks and i had decided that i wanted to end it based on the last few months of complete miscommunication/misunderstanding/lots of bad stuff...which for the 3 weeks that i was apart and every time i talk to my friends/family seemed like breaking up with him was the only solution that made sense. last night i went to ellens and on my walk tehre and during our whole conversation about it i started to think that maybe for someone who matters to me as much as he does and has for the last year and a half and someone who forgives me when i do the most unacceptable things and he still is able to look me in the eye and tell me he loves me unconditionally and that he knows and i know that i screwed up but he also knows that we both are young and have a lot of growing up to do...

anyway long story short, after a series of us tryign to explain eachother i realized that this will be my first chance to live in the same city and have time for eachother and we have learned from issues like him travelling and not calling and have started to find solutions to it, and me studying and knowing thatll happen again in a month...but even so i think we have grown a lot and i think i would constantly ask myself what if i did give it another chance if i didnt give it this chance one more time. if it doesnt work then ce la vie (or however you spell that :)) but if it does than all this growing up together should be work it right?

i am perfectly aware that maybe im just giving in to his convincing comments and that i may get more hurt or i may be closing other doors of opportunity around me - but at the same time if i just give up now when i do believe there is potential to make it work - that it is possible for me to direct my efforts into the relationship in a different way that works better - than i may be closing the door to this opportunity too fast...

anyway i guess that wasnt as short and to the point as maybe it could have been but im just going to post it anyway...

rups - the menu looks awesome! im excited.
megan - what are the plans to celebrate?
jules - what did you do to your hair??? im glad you like the computer :) i cant wait!