no one was meant to get up today

so - i slept over at eun's last night with edgar.
my day was going fine - i went to the gym with jess then headed over to eun's - took care of the cats and watched a little tv until edgar got there. we haven't been spending a lot of "alone time" together lately. anyway, we got into this discussion - one that we've had more than once lately - only he took it a step farther. basically, its the where is this going, should we be together. he suggested maybe we should "just be friends" that's not what he wants, in his ideal world we would be looking at moving to florida together and getting engaged/married. i don't think i'm ready to lose him. but is it fair of me when i don't know - and am leaning towards won't - whether we'll end up together forever?

then this morning i realized i had packed pants and a caridgan, but had skipped the shirt underneath so i had to go home and then to work - which made me late to lab meeting. courtney's lab meeting. and i was sleepy because obviously i didn't sleep well last night and then she turned off the lights - so, i know she noticed and i'm just so blah. i don't want to be here. i feel like crying.