all by myself part 2

i cant believe im at work...
but its kinda nice to be here when no one else is and just get stuff done - haha alex just left - he got here at like 10, larry (allens boss) took us out to lunch from 12-115, and he left at 130! im glad i came in now! at least it counts as a work day :)

im gonna finish this one report i wanted to finish and then study...maybe here but maybe ill just go home and study there.
my dad is cute, he gave me money today and said go buy yourself something nice on saturday just to cheer you up and to reward you for all the work you did - im excited :)

ill talk to you all monday!

all by myself. . .

i still have like 1.5 hours of work to go, and it's soo gross out! oh well, at least i can look forward to going to the gym tonight, then packing and going to jacob's party. wooo-hooo!

ladies, i hope you all have a wonderful thanksgiving :)

im outta here too...

but ill be back friday...maybe ill blog to myself that day :)

enjoy your weekends girls!

that's all folks!

i'm leaving.
now i just need to get to my car in the rain . . .

blah

so, the broken computer had all my previous experiments, which i would just copy and paste the layouts/settings. i had to redo it all today and i think i did a bad job.

now i have a headache from it not going smoothly . . .
i just need to move some cells and i'm done and going to go home!!!!

dont worry i am :)

im not upset about it. i really like that ive actually learned a lot from all this studying, more than i ever learned just working here before. and i know how much fun ill be having in just a week and a half :)

nush, look at the bright side

in december, you have a ton of vacation days while we'll all be chained to our desks!

meg - i definitely feel the same way you do about the weekend. i have a ton of work to do today, but i'm still in a GREAT mood since at this time tomorrow, i'll be flying home :)

i just talked to jackie - the poor girl is bored to death at home since everyone is either working or in school. i think i'd still rather be there and bored than here and working.

ok, back to work :)

work

i have so much to do :( but all i want to do is take out my books and study...but i know i cant....we have a meeting at 330 then i should be home at least by 5....watch sex and the city then study all night....i cant share the same excitement you have for the weekend megan, but ill def make up for it in the whole month of december :)

hanging out with courtney

that's where i was :)

the peter thing . . . first of all, i can't believe he's been friends with you so long and is still offended by you telling your girlfriends everything - he needs to get used to that one :)
furthermore - i feel like he's family now :) like, before he was a friend of yours from high school. now, i feel like he's your unofficial husband :)

i say like too much

so, tonight is going to be GREAT! i was supposed to go out to lunch with my parents but the computer got broken yesterday in the lab and pushed times back and instead of being ready for lunch at 12:00ish, i won't be ready until 1:30ish - and they don't want to wait around that long. so, they are going to pick me up tomorrow on their way past rochester to go to buffalo for thanksgiving. jess is leaving for o'burg about . . . now. edgar and i bought stuff to make dinner the other night and then didn't have enough time - so we are going to make it tonight. he has to work, so it will be late but i don't care :) we'll get to cook and watch the terminal together and he gets to sleep over - i'm really happy. and then i'll spend the weekend with my family - come back on saturday and relax and back to work on monday :)

i'm in such a good mood - only the bare minimum of work is getting done today 'cause i just want to float around and chat with people. and because the stuff i should get done i can do on my computer at home while i'm watching a movie.

i'm obsessed with the song st. elmo's fire. really - i'm obsessed with 80s music lately. paula abdul is one of my daily happinesses :)

:)

you do sound like a married couple :)

where are the other two girls???

i'm glad i could entertain you :)

- i slept in my room last night, although i definitely wanted to go and crawl into bed with him. hey, what can i say? i like cuddling :) but i decided that was a bad idea.

- i slept ok. i mean, i did think about him/it a little bit, but i slept allright.

- evy called me after he and i were done talking. i was in my room changing into my pjs when she called, so then i went out into the living room and talked to her there so that i wouldn't wake you.

yea, i don't think he was very happy. but, i really think it's the best thing for us to do right now. i think if we tried dating we would just end up fighting and arguing all the time, and i definitely don't want that.

i hadn't spoken to evelyn all weekend, so i hadn't told her the gossip yet. i told her this morning, and as soon as i said "i kind of kissed peter last friday," her first question was "so, when's the wedding? you guys sound like a married couple when you argue."

oh well. he wants to go to the thanksgiving parade tomorrow morning, so maybe i'll go to that with him before i head over to the airport.

that was the highlight of my day :)

what a funny conversation...

did you stay in your room last night? were you able to sleep ok or did you keep thinking about it/him? did evy call while you were in the room with him? he must have been so pissed....

tired

i like coming in like 30 min early when we have a 9 am so i have time to myself to eat breakfast, drink coffee, blog...i hate when that time is one cut short cause im late :) two cut short cause people ask me to do 1000 things in the morning! i hate it! give someone time to breathe...

anyway im here and connected....so ill blog :)

welcome to your new world of jealosy my friend :)

i foresee many blogs saying "he didnt seem so happy about that" :)

im on my way home...ill entertain him while i eat dinner :) then i need to get a ton of work done...

blogger doesn't like me today

I wrote a blog earlier but it didn't post, and now I'm trying to blog
using "blog this" but that's not working either, so I'm emailing my blog
instead. [update: email didn't work either; it bounced back, so now i'm trying to copy and paste my email using "blog this" again]

anyways, my blog earlier was just complaining about how sick some people
are. I read about some woman in texas who cut the arms off her 11-month
old baby. ugh.

nush - alex IS better than us. just accept that and move on with your
life :)

peter's coming over tonight. actually, he's on his way to the apt right
now. I don't know at what time I'll get out - I have a ton of work to
do since I'll be out thurs-mon. blah blah blah.

I'm not looking forward to "the talk", especially since everone keeps
asking me about it. I don't like having "talks". I like to just hang
out and "whatever happens, happens." so we'll see.

jacob's having a party tomorrow night and we've been meaning to hang out
forever, so I def want to go to the party. I think peter thought we'd
probably hang out tomorrow night since I'm leaving to miami thursday. I
mentioned yesterday that I was going to a party on wednesday, and he
didn't seem too excited about that. . .

blogger doesn't like me today

I wrote a blog earlier but it didn't post, and now I'm trying to blog
using "blog this" but that's not working either, so I'm emailing my blog
instead.

anyways, my blog earlier was just complaining about how sick some people
are. I read about some woman in texas who cut the arms off her 11-month
old baby. ugh.

nush - alex IS better than us. just accept that and move on with your
life :)

peter's coming over tonight. actually, he's on his way to the apt right
now. I don't know at what time I'll get out - I have a ton of work to
do since I'll be out thurs-mon. blah blah blah.

I'm not looking forward to "the talk", especially since everone keeps
asking me about it. I don't like having "talks". I like to just hang
out and "whatever happens, happens." so we'll see.

jacob's having a party tomorrow night and we've been meaning to hang out
forever, so I def want to go to the party. I think peter thought we'd
probably hang out tomorrow night since I'm leaving to miami thursday. I
mentioned yesterday that I was going to a party on wednesday, and he
didn't seem too excited about that. . .

oh sorry i meant to explain more

too many people coming over and asking me stuff...

IT lost all my stuff - we migrated to a new server months ago and had many issues then, all solved, and then yesterday they decided that it wasnt done right and needed to do it again, i said ok...but then i came back to my desk and it was all gone - from july - now in this one folder i save EVERYTHING in. and of course all the important information is saved there - esp since thats supposed to be backed up everyday...now they say it hasnt been backed up in a while. aaahhhh

annnnd i remember why i hated/hate alex today...he just has this "im better than life itself" attitude all day today. and he is wrong most the time! oh well i dont care

i took an hour during lunch and went to starbucks and studied...

jules - ready for the talk? :) is peter coming over tonight?

i have ice age and eternal sunshine of a spotless mind from patty to watch this weekend when im alone - so if you guys want to watch that tonight you are more than welcome...

1.5 more weeks....im scared....

huh?

what lost all your emails?
did you really need them?

i'm sorry :(

urgh

it lost all my emails from octo - november...

what the hell??? how can they do something like this??

urgh

confirmation that human's really do suck

i got my second round of samples - one subject never showed up. they are trying to get ahold of her . . . she might come in tomorrow to give blood. which means instead of day controlled by me where i can get some stuff done and leave early, i'll be here all day. in fact, i'll probably be here late because i'll have to analyze it tomorrow and the machine is signed up all afternoon until 4:30. human's SUCK!

human's suck

once again, my day has turned into a waiting game. really, there is other stuff i should get done, but i'm just playing online at my desk. my next round of samples should show up any second . . . my desk is their lateness is due to a subject being late (which happened this morning)

human's suck. why can't they be on time?!!!

goodmorning :)

meg, you ARE cute! i miss having you do random things like that for me. like, remember the birthday signs you used to make for people freshman (and sophomore?) year? you're a sweetheart :)

i just spent the morning at the gyno. woo-hoo! she was nice, though, so it's all good.

now i have about 3 tons of work to do, and a long boring meeting coming up now. so. ..don't miss me! i'll be back in like 1.5 hours or so. . .

thats cute!

i wonder if we will do anything for patty....

rupa - you didnt miss much - things were/i guess are good - its just that i have no time for anyone right now, and everyone else goes about their life but he cant cause if we spend time together then he feels like he is distracting me and i guess i dont do a very good job just relaxing for a night and studying more the next day - im much more of a study a lot all the time and take random 30 min breaks constantly to keep me going....

we talked a lot yesterday and i think things will be fine - at least we wont break up as soon as the test is over....we will give it some more time to see what "normal" is like in ny...

good morning all!

gen has been gone for 3 weeks and just got back today. she was in ireland for most of it, so we decorated her desk with green streamers. and i put a can of guiness and some lucky charms on one side with a sign that said "last week" and a bud light and cheerios on the other side with a sign that said "this week"

we're so cute :) (we being courtney and i)

you are not alone :)

i def feel that way too...that i know itd be better to break up with dev at least for a while, but it scares the hell out of me cause im comfortable, and when im not upset, im really happy! that sounds horrible but its true...i mean when i reread my last blog he sounds great - stalkerish and crazy but great...i just need to find my happy medium with him....

ok im chicken shit, and on my way to his apt :) it made me super sad to realize i wasnt goign to see him for over a week, so i called and im gonna stop by and hang out till he leaves for the airport at 7..then ill come home and study...

jules - i told dev about it and he was all fired up for peter :) and i said you guys were going to talk and he just groaned...i think rupas advice for no titles is a good plan! just make sure that the no titles thing also means no jealousy cause with peter im not so sure of that...and you dont want this to be a jackie/brian thing either..the no title thing there is ridiculous....

catchup blog

hi there! get ready for the blog of a lifetime.. I just read the whole thing and am trying to catch up. I can't believe julie and peter hooked up!! hee hee.. at one point earlier that night, when we were at vivek's party, they looked like they were making out in the corner.. mostly b/c peter was standing in the corner and julie couldn't really stand up.. so he was holding her up. I told them that they looked like they were making out and they both cracked up like that was absurd.. but just a few hours later.. :)

I'm sorry the other boyfriends are being ick. I think ti's just this time of year.. everyone seems busy and stressed or something.. but I do agree about commitment. it's a really scary thing. I feel like it's SO much better being in that "what if" stage when you know you are going to hook up but you haven't yet and you can shamelessly flirt or even kiss (i.e. the J and J duo from the hamptons.. I mean J and J and J) but then as soon as something real happens it's like you have to go one way or the other and that's annoying. I wonder what will happen with you and peter, jules. maybe you'll just be friends with occasional drunken benefits.. or quasi bf/gf without all the extras like not being able to go out to clubs with other guys.

I'm thinking out loud as I type and kinda on cold medicine so maybe I'm not making sense (I just read back what I wrote and it doesn't make sense anymore) but my point was that the limbo stage can be really fun.. although it's like eating candy or something where it's at first really fun and really good but if it goes on for too long.. just like if you eat too much candy.. it gets really frustrating or makes you puke :)

anyway.. I'm sure at some point when you have to, you'll both talk about it and I don't think you'll go back to totally platonic. nush.. when did things with dev get frustrating again? I feel like I missed a lot of the last ffew weeks or something b/c I thought things were good and then you were saying that you are close to crying after you see him. why is he being weird about not calling? that sounds strange. did this start ever since that long trip that he took to seattle over his bday? fill me in.. I feel a lil confused. also, I agree with jules that getting away from work and getting to home where it's fun and relaxing will be good.. and things will be better once the test is over even though I think you are right and that isn't the reason for all the trouble.

I love that edgar is worried we will make you single… ha ha ha… :) but I think you are right.. that by december something jules may have joined the semi-comitted side too.

ok.. sending this on b/c now everything I wrote is getting outdated. I just had a coffee date with jules.. which was so fun! back to work.

i'm not hot-headed!

yea, i just talked to rupa and she made me feel a little bit better about the whole peter thing. basically, there's no need for titles right now, right. so we'll probably talk tomorrow, i'll tell him that we should just see what happens cause i'm a big chicken shit and i don't want to ruin our friendship. . .and i definitely don't want this to end in a jackie/este kind of thing. ehh. . .we'll see.

why do things with boys have to be so complicated??? if you have a boyfriend, you think it's overrated. if you're single, you want a boyfriend cause you want someone to cuddle with. and then when you find someone that likes you, you're scared to deat cause they actually like you and you don't want to commit. ok, maybe i'm just talking about myself here and i'm alone on this one, but that's exactly how i feel.

tell him not to worry

i have no guts and prob wont be able to do it...i fall too easily to the i love you and my favorite picture of you is now the background of my computer etc etc...(you guys should see the folder of pics he has of me - its almost sickening...and all he has to do is press F4 and it automatically comes up...4 is our lucky number...gross right?) dont worry im not completely over being mad but im also pretty sad that he is leaving in about 2 hours and if i stay hot-headed i wont see him for over a week...im not a hot headed latin person!!! maybe ill give in and call....

edgar's fear

when i told edgar about mine and anusha's dev conversation, he was very upset and almost got anusha's # to call her and tell her not to. not because he thinks dev is so great (i told him some of nushies stories and he thought dev sounded like an asshole) but because he doesn't want me to be surrounded by 3 single girls while i'm in nyc :) he's a little worried you guys will convince me how great being single is and i'll come home and break up with him :) maybe we can just PRETEND julie is starting to date peter so he's not as worried ;)

(although on a serious side - i have distinct reservations about you and peter dating, the awkwardness and the hey buddy let's be friends line may be better in the long run then the fits of jealousy and eventual jackie/este can't be in the same room drama - 'cause you know all latin people are childish hotheads :) )

im excited to see

how this situation turns out :) this is fun...for us..prob not for you :)

the dev situation who knows...he claims that my studying is putting pressure on the relationship, and i disagree but then again i say that him not calling puts pressure...we are both entitled to our opinions right?

so, this will be over in 2 weeks then we will see...BUT itll start again by march! anyway, we shall see...time will tell....

jules, i think im going to take the time off for him in dec anyway - allen said i could still change stuff it doesnt really matter....and i think ill have more fun if i take those days off then random days where everyone else is working here...

i'm sorry boys are such poo-poo heads

don't be sad anusha . . .hopefully things will ease up a little with thanksgiving coming up - at least you can spend a day away from your office and with your family. and then in a couple of weeks, you'll take the test and then maybe things won't seem as bad.

i don't want a guy to suck the social life out of me! i like being able to randomly hang out with jacob and joe and john and ameya without having to tell someone or ask someone for permission. although, it would also be nice to have someone to hang out with all the time.

i don't know if things have already changed or not. i mean, i do think about him more now than i did before, but i think that's also because i'm confused and trying to figure out what i want. i'm not thinking about any other specific boys, but i am looking forward to going home in a week and hanging out with a ton of guy 'friends' (a.k.a. letting guys take me out and buy me drinks and all), and i don't want to have to have to feel 'guilty' about flirting with other guys. i might just be a big baby, i don't know. . . and i don't know if i can just tell him "hey buddy, you know i love you as a friend but let's go back to just being friends."

anyways, sorry about bringing the discussion back to boys. about desperate housewives: I'd seen a couple of episodes and i liked them, but i've missed it the last couple of weeks. is the hot 'slutty' latin woman the one that was hooking up with like her 17 year old lawn boy?

that lawn boy is hot - and he's one of my co-worker's friend's ex-boyfriend! he's from ct. just thought i'd share that bit of random info with you guys :)

oh no!

did the suggestion of a new subject kill the momentum?
nushie, are you ok??
julie - where did you go?

desparate housewives

(aka changing the subject off of boys)
do you guys watch it? i know rupa does . . . i was in love when it started, but i'm falling out of love . . . its turning into just a primetime soap opera. too much random drama and people dying and the latin woman is a HO!

boyfriends are overrated...

lunch was ehh...i just dont feel it anymore, im just so frustrated, but then when i said bye and actually had to turn and leave and come back was not easy and im still trying to hold back tears - im def in that state where the second someone asks me something ill burst out crying. i hate that feeling - esp at work...

he leaves tonight at 7 for thanksgiving...and wont be back till tuesday....he was like meet me for coffee or come over after work lalala...but why?? what the hell is the point - he will get to stl tonight and constantly forget to call me every single day - hell call once and tlak for like 30 sec and say i have to go to xyz with this person and that person...he forgets what it means to havea girlfriend unless he is bored and in his apt by himself. i hate that...

ok i need to stop - i have to focus on work....

jules, i dont think they are silly - but i also dont think all those things have already changed - i think afriendship that deep and that long doesnt change by one hook up...do you miss him? have you talked to him today? are you thinking about him constantly...those would be more telling signs...or are you still thinking about the guy you kissed at jackies work? or all the otehr random guys that are around?

julie's silly concerns

they aren't so silly. it would suck to decide to go for it and just end up fighting every weekend. and boyfriends suck the social life out of you - my experience. and koo agreed with me when we talked about it.

buuut. the flip side is . . . is it going to be weird now to be like ok, we're just friends. is he requesting the get together and talk time? are all the things you are worried about changing already changed? as anusha so delicately put it . . now that he's had a piece of you - is he going to be jealous regardless of official commitment status?

by the way - commitment is VERY scary, but it gets easier :) i don't know if i told you guys this at the time - but i technically cheated on edgar. i kissed this random guy like 4 days after edgar and i hooked up. it was a big fight that night and then again like 2 months ago because someone told edgar that the guy and i had made out like crazy (which is not true - one kiss) and he thought that i had cheated on him and lied to him. and it took me a while to not have a little part of me annoyed that i was expected to call him and hold his hand and not be flirty with other guys because i was his "girlfriend" - but now its normal :)

on the jealousy thing - george used to give me back rubs all the time. just for like 2 minutes at a time, no big deal. edgar HATED it. he hated that this gay server josh used to slap my butt and hug me. we didn't go out to random bars, so he never got to experience that joy. sometimes i think i compromised too much (no back rubs from george, josh stopped being touchy feely after one too many dirty looks from edgar) but . . . i think its worth it :)

megan - good news!

im def off that friday that you are here - and MOMA is free on fridays from 4-8...so i say we get up late, maybe meet the de shaw girls for lunch and then wander around till 4 and then go to the museum :)

i cant wait!!!

and - i bought my secret santa person her first gift on sat...i needed retail therapy as a break from studying :)

lunch

i'm glad you're having lunch with dev. maybe now he'll realize how silly he was all weekend and stop doing things like that. :)

argh - i don't know what to do about peter. are all my concerns just silly?

:)

i second julies - i never did that knowingly :) i dont committ to not doing things unknowingly - and for the record im still disgusted that you kissed merwald in my chair, but i think i got payback by him peeing on you :) hahahahhaa ok i know he didnt pee on you but it sounds much funnier that way

as julie said - i didnt "walk" in on them - i was being a good friend! cause i knew she had this thing to go to..they werent going strong, he was just hugging her - it was cute :)

but jules - i agree with the jealousy thing about peter...we talked one day on the train home and he was like im glad im just friends with these girls cause i hate the way guys are always hitting on them - and i was like yeah but for the most part they are honest with them and the guys know they are just throwing thier money away and arent going to get any, and he was like yeah but i still dont like it...that was clearly before he had a piece of you though ;)

im meeting dev for lunch...he sent me an email at like 4 am saying i couldnt sleep i wishi could just come over and hug you and show you that things arent that bad lalala...im just tired of all this - and worst off im tired of not being able to sleep! i cant wait till 2 weeks from now....

haha

nope, meg - i never got hot and sweaty with anyone on your bed. at least, not that i remember. i don't think i've ever hooked up on any of my friend's beds. .

anyways, she walked in on us SLEEPING at 8am on jackie's bed. we decided to sleep there so as not to disturb nushie poo :) by the way, nush - i don't think i thanked you for waking me up and making me go to the buddy training thing. i definitely owe you one. you're the bestest :) i figured you must have picked up on something - i know you're not blind / dumb, but i felt bad that i didn't get to tell you about it outright.

no, we didn't hook up again on saturday. we started watching a movie in jackie's room and then fell asleep (again, we slept there so as not to wake up anusha).

yea, i don't know what's going on with the 18 year old he was dating. he wanted to come over so we could talk tonight, but i have training again till like 10 or so, so i think we might just talk tomorrow. i didn't do shit all weekend - i need to put away laundry and clean the kitchen/living room/bathroom. . .

jackie thinks it's good if we start dating. i feel retarded casue he's one of my closest friends, i've known him forever, and i don't know what i want. he's super sweet and nice and i know he'd treat me awesome. but i know him so well that i know there are things about him that drive me nuts. he's really jealous - like, if he just sees a guy talking to me he's like, "oh, that guy was hitting on you." and i hate that. i can't stand jealousy. and i don't know - he just knows how to push my buttons and how to piss me off. for real, if we started dating, i don't know how long that would last - and he's such a good friend to me, i wouldn't want to ruin that. i think i'm also just terrified of commitment, and i definitely wouldn't want to hurt him. and i love going out and partying with different guys and stuff, and i know he'd just be like, "so, who's jordan and why's he inviting you to these parties."

i don't know, maybe these are all just stupid excuses that i'm coming up with now, but i honestly don't know what i want right now. and i was too chicken shit to bring any of this up all weekend. oh well, i guess we'll talk today or tomorrow and figure all this shit out.

i want to move

to nyc :(
i miss you guys!

all over you at 8am?

like - you walked in to them sleeping in julie's bed? or you walked in on them still going strong at 8am? i'm thinking its the first, right?

so you started on jackie's bed and brought him back to your bed to sleep? and if you were wearing his clothes - walk of shame through the living room after getting all butt (buck?) naked on jackie's bed and redressing in what was handy?

ok, i know i kissed a guy while sitting on anusha's chair once . . . but as two of only 6 roommates i had through college - julie and nush, you guys never got all naked sweaty with anyone on any of my beds, did you??????

but, did you hook up again on sat???

i knew :)

im not that oblivious - come on, i came in to the room at 8 am and you were wearing his clothes and he was all over you - thats not a friends thing...

and then sat night watching football and cuddling on the couch?? i mean i see how you guys normally are with peter...

im glad to know that my studying hasnt made me completely oblivious to the world :)

what about the 18 year old he was "dating" out the window?

back that ass up

what?!
i think we need to dwell on this peter thing just a little longer!
you guys haven't talked about it yet? what does jackie think? are you guys going to start like dating???

and why do you feel retarded?

latin music

yay! i'm so excited edgar likes my latin music :) i can't wait to go home for thanksgiving so i can stock up on more music - mari is my source of new latin music. i'm also going to steal a lot of 80s stuff and rock from jessie. all my friends have such different tastes in music. . .i love it :)

soo. . nush is probably going to kill me when i write this cause we spent all weekend together and i never said anything, but. . . peter and i hooked up on friday night, and now. . . i don't know what's going on.

yea, you read that right. nush, i'm so sorry i didn't tell you before, but peter was around all weekend so i didn't get a chance to be alone with you and tell you. umm. . . i don't know exactly how it happened. we were at vivek's party, i was pretty drunk. next thing i know, we're back at my place in jackie's bed hooking up. no no no, we didn't go "all the way" or anything. but umm, yea - definitely weird. he was super sweet to me all weekend, so i guess he wants something to happen between us. i don't know what i want (surprise, surprise). argh. i feel so retarded.

so, how was everyone else's weekend?

hmmm

originally, there was a shake fist in front of the at julie . . .

at julie

just kidding :)
buuuuut . . . .
i now get to listen to julie's latin mix on my ipod whenever edgar is over. he has discovered that they have the same taste and he loves listening to the music she loaded on for me. i feel like i'm a freshman all over again . . .