i'm here!
hi people...
i'm in the office this morning.. although i'm gonna leave around noonish i think and go visit. he is home today packing but his family is coming in early so he was kinda weird about me spending the afternoon..
i had a really good night... for a while i was all about trying to talk to him and be with him and it was a lil awkward b/c there were just so many people that wanted to see him. but that's why it's great to have my lovely ladies by my side :) to entertain me and push me a lil. thanks girls! you three really are the best!
erica hung out for a while longer actually.. which was nice b/c he was still busy talking to people and that indian guy started up again with the whole.. you're so pretty.. why won't you talk to me.. blah blah blah. poor erica.. i think i pawned him off on her a lot and walked away. by the end of the night, steve-o jeremy and all the others had left. the only ones there were his work people- the indian guy, his boss, and that guy steve.. who i love!! megan- although i don't know carebear's personality at all.. this guy reminds me of him physically.. both in terms of stature but also in terms of being really smily and huggable. he's my favorite of ameya's work colleagues. so i spent most of the time talking to him and listening to ameya's boss tell me about how he's gonna go to india in march to visit ameya and find him a wife. i didn't want to correct him :) so i just laughed along about all his ideas (including renting out the delhi convention center and having an ameya party). crazy man...
so then erica left too and i was bonding with steve while ameya and ray (the boss) had this total heart to heart.. the boss was super sad by the end of the night.. which worried me a lil b/c ameya started talking about going back to this horrible job after a year!!!!
ok.. so end of night (i know you are all curious). everyone else left.. and it was the two of us.. and he was like.. i have to get home.. i still have to do some packing tonight and then tomorrow.. so we walked outside.. i was gonna hop in a cab and go home but we decided to walk around a lil... he apologized for not really getting to talk to me, but i told him it was fine.. that he needed to see all those others that he didn't get to see at all. finally we walked me a bit uptown and then i started to hail a cab. we hugged for about a minute.. he said... this isn't bye yet, i'll see you tomorrow, and we just ended up standing there and talking for maybe 20 minutes. finally i was cold.. sad.. and wanted to leave. it was sad.. we didn't say much but just kinda stood there for a bit- i went to kiss him and he kinda turned away. then he said "sorry.. i know i'm being a jerk, but i can't do this.. it's already really hard". and he's right! yeah i wanted a kiss.. but making it all romantic before he leaves will make it worse.. and i totally told him before that i wanted the opposite.. to just be how we've been and then deal with it when he's back.
so i'm gonna stick to that. my cab ride home was really sad.. but i woke up today.. am in a great mood and am over this kissing bit.
honestly, if he were here for the next year, i don't know if i'd be ready for a full blown relationship. i still like having nights to myself and not having the obligation to call someone or let someone know where i am all the time.. i am finally figuring out a way to do my job but also have a life.. do things to my apt.. hang out with my friends. so i'm gonna have a really fun year doing all those things single.. just like i planned... and then i can be all sappy and romantic when he's back.. it's pointless to be that now.. it just makes me sad.
taht's my big epiphany of the day. and it's friday!!! :)
i'm in the office this morning.. although i'm gonna leave around noonish i think and go visit. he is home today packing but his family is coming in early so he was kinda weird about me spending the afternoon..
i had a really good night... for a while i was all about trying to talk to him and be with him and it was a lil awkward b/c there were just so many people that wanted to see him. but that's why it's great to have my lovely ladies by my side :) to entertain me and push me a lil. thanks girls! you three really are the best!
erica hung out for a while longer actually.. which was nice b/c he was still busy talking to people and that indian guy started up again with the whole.. you're so pretty.. why won't you talk to me.. blah blah blah. poor erica.. i think i pawned him off on her a lot and walked away. by the end of the night, steve-o jeremy and all the others had left. the only ones there were his work people- the indian guy, his boss, and that guy steve.. who i love!! megan- although i don't know carebear's personality at all.. this guy reminds me of him physically.. both in terms of stature but also in terms of being really smily and huggable. he's my favorite of ameya's work colleagues. so i spent most of the time talking to him and listening to ameya's boss tell me about how he's gonna go to india in march to visit ameya and find him a wife. i didn't want to correct him :) so i just laughed along about all his ideas (including renting out the delhi convention center and having an ameya party). crazy man...
so then erica left too and i was bonding with steve while ameya and ray (the boss) had this total heart to heart.. the boss was super sad by the end of the night.. which worried me a lil b/c ameya started talking about going back to this horrible job after a year!!!!
ok.. so end of night (i know you are all curious). everyone else left.. and it was the two of us.. and he was like.. i have to get home.. i still have to do some packing tonight and then tomorrow.. so we walked outside.. i was gonna hop in a cab and go home but we decided to walk around a lil... he apologized for not really getting to talk to me, but i told him it was fine.. that he needed to see all those others that he didn't get to see at all. finally we walked me a bit uptown and then i started to hail a cab. we hugged for about a minute.. he said... this isn't bye yet, i'll see you tomorrow, and we just ended up standing there and talking for maybe 20 minutes. finally i was cold.. sad.. and wanted to leave. it was sad.. we didn't say much but just kinda stood there for a bit- i went to kiss him and he kinda turned away. then he said "sorry.. i know i'm being a jerk, but i can't do this.. it's already really hard". and he's right! yeah i wanted a kiss.. but making it all romantic before he leaves will make it worse.. and i totally told him before that i wanted the opposite.. to just be how we've been and then deal with it when he's back.
so i'm gonna stick to that. my cab ride home was really sad.. but i woke up today.. am in a great mood and am over this kissing bit.
honestly, if he were here for the next year, i don't know if i'd be ready for a full blown relationship. i still like having nights to myself and not having the obligation to call someone or let someone know where i am all the time.. i am finally figuring out a way to do my job but also have a life.. do things to my apt.. hang out with my friends. so i'm gonna have a really fun year doing all those things single.. just like i planned... and then i can be all sappy and romantic when he's back.. it's pointless to be that now.. it just makes me sad.
taht's my big epiphany of the day. and it's friday!!! :)
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