dying parents
hi everyone.. i'm glad that we have a natural topic to talk about...
i feel like i understand what jackie is talking about, but agree with jules, that you don't want the kid to ever again (even in a softer form) to feel like they are losing someone in their life. but i think that a parent dying is a bad situation that you can only make a little better but not fix. the types of people in your life that will be there forever no matter what are always going to be your parents.. and the only way to have the kid know someone forever after their parents is to replace them with permanent parents. just like foster parents are kinda a temporary solution until that happens, i think the buddy program is supposed to be a bridge.
by bridge, i mean that it's something constant from before the parent dies until after the parent dies. if the child had no bridge, then the life change would be even harder. the foster parents can't really be the bridge b/c they can't start doing the parental things that they would until the kid is living with them. they can meet her and everything but it won't be the same. it'll still be really different once her mom dies. but you, jules, can be the same before and after, and i think that's what is really important. it's important that, even if it's not forever, that you guys still go out on a weekend and get pizza and walk around after her mom has died.. just to show her that some things haven't changed.
i think having that constant "something" in julia's life is what's important. i think it's important that it be there until she's used to her new parents, but not necessary to be there forever...
so sad. :(
i feel like i understand what jackie is talking about, but agree with jules, that you don't want the kid to ever again (even in a softer form) to feel like they are losing someone in their life. but i think that a parent dying is a bad situation that you can only make a little better but not fix. the types of people in your life that will be there forever no matter what are always going to be your parents.. and the only way to have the kid know someone forever after their parents is to replace them with permanent parents. just like foster parents are kinda a temporary solution until that happens, i think the buddy program is supposed to be a bridge.
by bridge, i mean that it's something constant from before the parent dies until after the parent dies. if the child had no bridge, then the life change would be even harder. the foster parents can't really be the bridge b/c they can't start doing the parental things that they would until the kid is living with them. they can meet her and everything but it won't be the same. it'll still be really different once her mom dies. but you, jules, can be the same before and after, and i think that's what is really important. it's important that, even if it's not forever, that you guys still go out on a weekend and get pizza and walk around after her mom has died.. just to show her that some things haven't changed.
i think having that constant "something" in julia's life is what's important. i think it's important that it be there until she's used to her new parents, but not necessary to be there forever...
so sad. :(
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