losing hair :(

i had the worst day yesterday. J+J left for easter stuff around 12, at about 12:05, i was sitting at my desk studying, playing wiht my hair like i normally do, and all of a sudden i touch this random part on the back part of my head and it feels like there is no hair there, i start flipping out, and go look in my medicine cabinet because it is all mirrors, and sure enough there is a patch that is the size of a half dollar of no hair :( i have never had a panic attack like that before but i was flipping out. called my fam, no one answered the phone. talked to nalini auntie who almost drove to NY to pick me up because i was hyper ventilating. then dev called. we were planning on meeting yesterday for coffee anyway to catch up and to try to be friends, when i was spazzing, he said ill come over. he came, brought me the most beautiful flowers (julie, hence the shushing you on talking about the flowers when satyan was over!) and just hugged me and kept telling me its ok and that i need to not stress about it because stress is what caused it in the first place. anyway, we hooked up...i kept saying we cant do this cause its going to feel really good and you arent going to understand why i dont want to be with you blah blah blah we hooked up again... :) anyway he left at 5, still broken up, still him not understanding and him saying that im his best friend and he wants me to at least be a part of his life. and i said well are you ok with knowing that i date other people or that i have moved on, he said well id rather not hear about it but im not lying to myself and i know that you are, but thats fine. i just want to see you once in a while for coffee. and maybe its a good idea to not come to your apt to do that. which i agreed with, but then he was like but today i came over cause you were panicing and needed a friend, thats what friends do...anyway it was nice...

then satyan came over :) he came at like 8, all dressed up cause he had been to a broadway show with his friends. i was in PJs and ready to just watch a movie but he was like i want to take you out to dinner. i got dressed we went out to baluccis had a great time, came back, watched desparate housewives (rupa, i couldnt wait till later this week! so next sunday if we are all around ill watch it again with you guys and then we can watch the new one like old times...) and he stayed over...

and megan - side note that julie and rupa know already, sat night we went to free wine and i kissed one of their coworkers matt...kissed him a lot...more urgh...