yea
i agree with rupa and megan. i think it would be difficult for her if i was a part of her day-to-day life and then just decided to leave one day. but i only see her every 2 weeks or so. i think it's unlikely that she'd be really dependent on me since we see each other so infrequently. megan, the big buddies have to committ to the program for a year, and the kids are aware of this, too, that the relationship might end after a year. and there have been kids in the program whose buddies move away after a year or 2, and they request a new big buddy because they enjoy it - so the kids are definitely getting something out of it.
i think a lot of the kids in the program are in situations a bit different from julia's - most of the kids live with extended family (so with an aunt and a 4-5 siblings and cousins), so thery're in a household where there's a lot of chaos and not much individual attention. in cases like that, i think having an older buddy is definitely beneficial - the big buddy can take them out and pay attention to them and make them feel special.
the kids and the parents also have social workers and psychologists working with them, so i feel like they have professionals supervising everything. if jackie's correct and the buddy program really causes more harm than good, then wouldn't these people end it?
another one of jackie's arguments was just that the kids should learn to deal with what they're dealt - and trying to help them and "pretend everything's ok" by giving them a big buddy will only make them weak. i don't know, i just don't see any of this as "pretending." i think it's just a friendship. when i was 8 or 9, i made our next door neighbor my mentor. i wanted to be just like her - i would spend as much time as i could in her house. she was in her early 30s, had 4 kids (all under the age of 6), and was just really pretty and really friendly and sweet. she'd let me come over and play with the babies and she and i would sit around and "talk". it meant so much to me that an adult who wasn't related to me would pay attention to me. we were friends until my family moved away like 4 years later, and i wasn't devastated that i never saw here again. i know, this situation is completely different from the buddy program, but maybe that's why i think that it's important for kids to have friends who are adults, because i remember how much this woman meant to me. and as long as those mentors or big buddies remain just friends - as long as they don't become a disciplinarian or assume any other parental roles, then i think the kids will be ok whenever the relationship has to end. am i making any sense?
i think a lot of the kids in the program are in situations a bit different from julia's - most of the kids live with extended family (so with an aunt and a 4-5 siblings and cousins), so thery're in a household where there's a lot of chaos and not much individual attention. in cases like that, i think having an older buddy is definitely beneficial - the big buddy can take them out and pay attention to them and make them feel special.
the kids and the parents also have social workers and psychologists working with them, so i feel like they have professionals supervising everything. if jackie's correct and the buddy program really causes more harm than good, then wouldn't these people end it?
another one of jackie's arguments was just that the kids should learn to deal with what they're dealt - and trying to help them and "pretend everything's ok" by giving them a big buddy will only make them weak. i don't know, i just don't see any of this as "pretending." i think it's just a friendship. when i was 8 or 9, i made our next door neighbor my mentor. i wanted to be just like her - i would spend as much time as i could in her house. she was in her early 30s, had 4 kids (all under the age of 6), and was just really pretty and really friendly and sweet. she'd let me come over and play with the babies and she and i would sit around and "talk". it meant so much to me that an adult who wasn't related to me would pay attention to me. we were friends until my family moved away like 4 years later, and i wasn't devastated that i never saw here again. i know, this situation is completely different from the buddy program, but maybe that's why i think that it's important for kids to have friends who are adults, because i remember how much this woman meant to me. and as long as those mentors or big buddies remain just friends - as long as they don't become a disciplinarian or assume any other parental roles, then i think the kids will be ok whenever the relationship has to end. am i making any sense?
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