yay

i love when we have topics like this to discuss :)

nush i agree that each lifestyle works differently for different peopple.. and that some actively choose to stay home which is ok. i think it's just wrong when people are enforcing their own standards on to someone else.. like when is a good time to get married.. who should stay home and raise the kids etc. the fact that it's assumed it's the mother who should in itself is also an assumption that's no longer valid. why is the struggle of balancing work and kids up to the mom? what about the dad? i honestly believe that it should be something the family figures out together.. if the wife makes more and so it's better for the family if the dad stays home, so be it.. there's nothing wrong w that!!

i do disagree though that when you balance you aren't the "best" at one or the other.. b/c i don't really think that one is a tradeoff of the other.. yes if you are working more you are spending less time with your kid.. but what if the parent who stays home with the kid is really smothering them with attention and makes the kid more spoilt? or the kid less independent? i think how good parents are doesn't really corrrelate exactly to how much time is spent. i mean extreme versions are bad of course.. the parent who never goes to the kids soccer games etc is bad.. but i know parents that would be there when the kids were home etc but weren't such good parents.. they'd "be" home but wouldn't talk to their kids.. or know what was going on in their lives.. but other parents wouldn't always be there.. but they'd come home and talk to their kids.. know their friends names etc...

i just think you can do it all ;)