when doctors dont know the cause

this has become my new pet peeve.however i think i had an epiphany this weekend. at the wedding there was a blind man who sang for part of the musical program. he was absolutely amazing. and he was smiling the whole night - he was just happy to be surrounding by talented musicians and he was just happy to be alive. it was amazing. it made me stop thinking so much about why my hair is falling out or why doctors dont know the cure to things like that. because it shouldnt matter....

i really think ive been ok with that since then. my mom is a different story, and who knows, one of these days the effect of seeing him will wear off and once again i will be sad/feel bad for myself and unfortanately ill haev to see something like this to remind myself that im a lucky girl. and just writing this and writing the words "to see" makes my stomach turn.

anyway those are my two cents for the day :)

megan we are going to miss you a lot this weekend. sunday we are having dinner together.